Reflections

It is natural when something in your life changes to reflect on not only that but on things past. Sometimes the answers these reflections bring surprise, sometimes they upset and sometimes they bring happiness.. As I sit and reflect this week I am brought back to a word, a single word spoken in the hallway out of frustration and out of a feeling of resignation. That word can never be changed and that one word caused so much of life to change. Plans, goals, futures, all changed by one word. If I could go back I would try to convince myself to act differently, to fight the tide and to change that word.  Would things be better?  Who knows..  I tend to think so..

I'm sorry for the vagueness of that last paragraph, there are so many feelings to think about, so many people who could be hurt, should I even put this out there in the public forum? Who knows and honestly right now, who cares..  I am a very public person and if someone gets hurt because they know what I mean then I'm sorry, but it's the way I feel, I can't change that and I have to be true to myself..

I got very caught up in the whirlwind of the past few months and I think in doing so I caused great pain, I am sorry to anyone for the pain I may have caused. I try not to regret the decisions of my past, and in general I do a pretty good job. I am sorry I changed plans because of the new developments in my life, I'm sorry that I caused some people to feel unwanted or second best.

In the end I will go on, as they say, "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger".. 

I am still planning on moving, but not sure where.  However much I love this apartment the heating bills in the winter are horrible. I am looking in Southern MA, Northern RI and North East CT, the adventure of life is you never know where you'll end up in the end.. 

-
Sorry this blog has been a big downer..  In other, happier news, the Mets won four in a row which is their biggest winning streak of the year and, better yet, three of those have come against the Yankees..  :)

I will try to be more upbeat in the next blog..  I realize I need a "sign off tag line", hmm..  If you have any suggestions let me know..  For now, I'll steal this one one more time.  ;)

Good night my lovelies